DBSK: Why Did I End Up Falling For You?

DBSK’s どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう？or "Why did I end up falling for you?" has been stuck on my playlist on continuous repeat that I think I need to post about it again.

The moment I heard this song, it made me think that the lyrics sounded so sad despite the beautiful melody. Mind you, I’m not fluent in Japanese at all, so I was surprised when I read the translation of the lyrics…

それでも君が僕のそば離れていっても
永遠に君が幸せであること
ただ願ってる
たとえそれがどんなに寂しくても
（切なくても）

But, even though I say that I need you close to me
I just pray that you will be happy forever
No matter how lonely that makes me (or how sad)

Translations and lyrics from DBSKer

For those who don’t follow my art blog, I drew a fake screenshot of Vampire Knight’s Kaname and Yuuki. Please check it out too when you have time!

Devious Journal Entry

I’ve been much more active in Deviant Art lately… mainly because the haphazard life of a free-lance artist needs much more care and attention than I thought.

I found out that merely posting that you are opened for commissions does not mean people will start falling in line right outside your doorstep. For someone like me who has only 20,000 pageviews in 4 years, the forums turned out to be a huge help. You can offer your services there and find people who are looking for artists to commission.

My persistence with the forums paid off, as I’ve had 2 commissions so far. A third one is on the works, which is taking more time than I thought.

That’s another thing I learned about these commissions: people are willing to wait for their artworks. It’s a good and bad thing as you get to work on your own time, but tend to slack off whenever something grabs your attention.

Needless to say, this artist needs more discipline. But it’s admittedly a huge relief from commercial works with deadly deadlines.

In other news, I won second place in the Thou Shalt Honor Fella Contest! This gives me a 6 months premium subscription on Deviant Art and an official Fella Plushie! x3 I’m not sure when I’ll be getting my plush, but like my commissioners, I’m willing to wait. :D

In case you’d like to commission me too, I’m having a Commissions Sale for the month of September. It’s called the Faux ScreenShot Project, in which fake screenshots will be made for only US$7 a piece. The catch? They’re in smaller resolution; 700 x 525 pixels to be exact.

More information can be found on my Deviant Art. For now though, here is a sample of what I can do on such a small canvas:

Faux SS 02: Rima by *kurohiko on deviantART

*cough* Just in case you know someone who'd like to see their work turned into an anime screenshot, please do point them my way. You don’t need a Deviant Art account to commission me, but you do need a paypal account. ^_^

To Be Happy

6 of 10 - Akira Tomosuke by ~kurohiko on deviantART

When you owe a person something, I think it's best to pay that person no matter how long a time has passed.

This is a long overdue sketch for Akira, but somehow, his character turned out to look a lot like Kira Yamato from Gundam SEED. I didn’t realize it until I already posted the artwork.

I just hope this was worth the wait. *_* Forgiveness please, Akira…

On another note, I feel very happy today after talking to my mom. Now I feel like I can achieve whatever my heart desires. And that makes my spirit soar.

Fangirling Over Kuroshitsuji Things

I'm finally completing my episodes of Kuroshitsuji and stumbled upon the OVA the other day... Now I'm just totally confused. The series was pretty vindictive in showing that revenge is everything in this world, and then the OVA dictates the exact opposite. It seems that Ciel learned this lesson from the children in the audience... in a way, Sebastian also taught him that. If that were the case, then why did Ciel end up dying in the end of the anime series?

Too many questions left unanswered... but despite the OVA being an overall disappointment, their depiction of Hamlet was pretty hilarious~! I'm guessing they wanted to do something different for the OVA.

That also reminded me that I haven't even posted this yet:

I like this and I don't like it at the same time. ~_~ I'm not sure... maybe it's because it looks too typical of Ciel to look like... well, Ciel? xDDD;;; It just seems like I copied it from an original piece or something. =.=;;;

I need to draw him and Sebas-chan together~ ♥ I wonder what season 2 will hold in store for us? New master, now butler (even if the new butler sounds like Sebas-chan); this should prove to be very interesting indeed. >3

Happy April Fools~ xD!!!

Artist for Hire

Because I am now a starving artist, I've decided to put up commissions. For now, these are the services offered, but I will update my Deviant Art Commissions Information if I think I can handle any more.

Yes, I'm serious... even if it is April Fools today. xD;;;

Portrait Commissions: US$15 ($7 for each additional character)

* waist up
* full color
* minimal to no BG only

Samples:

Chibi Commissions: US$10 ($5 for each additional character)

* full body
* full color
* minimal to no BG only

Samples:

Color Commissions: US$10-20

* price depending on difficulty
* lineart must be provided in high resolution
* minimal to no BG only

Sample:

If interested, please send me an email with the following information:

Name:
E-mail: (your PayPal email)
Commission Type:
Description of character:
Art style: (you can choose any style from my gallery)
Link for reference of character:

RULES

- I reserve the right to post commissions on my websites.
- Sketching will begin only after the commission has been paid either in 50% down payment of preferably paid in full (PAYPAL ONLY).
- Please give at least 15 days before issuing a follow-up.
- Corrections will only be entertained during sketching stage.
- The final artwork in its highest resolution will be emailed to the commissioner in JPEG format (unless requested otherwise).
- No hentai, yaoi, or yuri.
- Allowing the artist a bit of leeway for the poses is preferred.

If you have any questions, comments, requests, and suggestions, please do let me know~ ^_^ Thank you very much!

A.illusions: Durarara!!

The sad thing about this..? I've never even seen an episode of Durarara!! >.<;;; But it's been going around Deviant Art and Youtube so I decided to do a parody of my own.

It was pretty easy to decide which characters to do on the top, but as I gradually began to venture down, it was getting harder and harder to fit the personalities of the characters with the poses. In the end, I had to change Azorite's and Souji's poses entirely, but it turned out pretty good too!

I was suppose to put the antagonist of the series there, but decided to have the automatons get their share of the lime light~ ♥

Nephews have decided to animate this and use the piano version of "Trust Me" to show off their talents. xD Hopefully, we can get it done soon!

View the A.illusions Gallery post and the full deviation in Deviant Art please~ x3

Sugary Sweet Sundaes

I feel so nervous all of a sudden. *_*

I’m so behind on my pages that I feel like I’ll be missing deadline after deadline again. I need to break this habit and try to keep proper time management.

Unfortunately (or fortunately?), my sister and her husband arrived earlier this morning. This would mean sleepless nights of endless drabble that’ll cut my productivity in half. I’m trying to come up with ways to keep her at bay so I can try looking for a printing press in time for Komikon.

Well, that’s the plan anyway. I’m going to try and print limited copies of the digitally re-mastered edition of A.illusions Act One, and possibly Mote-Mote if I can afford it. I’m so nervous about the whole thing because… what if no one buys my books? That’ll be a disaster. But at the same time, this could be my last chance to try and sell some indis, which I’ve been wanting to do for the longest time.

I might just have to take a leap of faith… but I’m still nervous about the whole thing, haha!

In other news…

Sweetest Dreams by ~kurohiko on deviantART

I’ve always wanted to try my hand at drawing Trinity Blood. Good thing ~Laura28182 requested Abel for her prize~ x3

Shift to Hyper-Focus Mode

Ahaha, I forgot to post an update. xD

You may have noticed that I’ve got a new page up at 黑火子 ~Kurohiko, which is pacing a lot faster than A.illusions ever did. That’s kind of good and also kind of bad because it means I’m enjoying drawing Mote-Mote more than A.illusions.

I guess copying characters and backgrounds are a lot easier than starting from scratch.

It does make me want to go back updating A.illusions again though. Or something original. I’ve always wanted to continue Karma, but I’ve never had the time or inspiration for it. Of course, there’s also Vanguards of Heaven (Guardians of Celestia) which was my college thesis gone strangely wrong and off track, but I’m thinking I should finish what I started first before creating something entirely new again.

Anyway, I almost didn’t make the deadline for this because I had been ill for something close to a week. I wasn’t sure if I could post this or not, but my officemate decided to help me out and gave me an article about hyper-focus mode. I have to admit, it really works, and you should really give it a read.

Here are the keypoints of the article:

How to Stay Creative When Facing Deadlines: “The ultimate inspiration is the deadline.”

1. Recognize early on that you are getting stressed and handle it before it gets out of control.
2. Communicate with a friend that is also trying to be creative under pressure.
3. Stay in an inspired state of mind.
4. Shift into hyper-focus mode.

For this weekend? I’ll try to shift to hyper-focus mode again to finish penciling all the pages of Mote-Mote. Afterwards, I can ink them and tone them as the days come forth.

Wish me luck guys~ ♥

My First Doujin is Now Online!

After several weeks of procrastination, I’m finally able to post Mote-Mote for the world to see!

Well, ok, I posted page 1, working on the next page… but haha, after 6 months? I dare say it’s quite an achievement! And you know, it’s pretty therapeutic to draw characters that already exist in an anime… designing structures is not as difficult as starting from scratch.

Admittedly though? I’m already thinking about drawing originals again. I can’t decide whether I should continue A.illusions after Mote-Mote, or draw the 2nd Chapter of Karma. Either way though, I’m really psyched up!

Now if only I was so sick for the past week that I had to stay in bed most of the time, I wouldn’t be panicking about not making my next deadline, which is on December 10, 2009..! Yikes… x.x;;;

I’m pretty ok now, almost fully recovered from fever, though I still feel like my brain is running only on minimum requirement. 4 days of high fever can do that to people I guess, haha! I had to miss 4 days of work and did my best to recover in two more days, and still I feel light-headed. The doctor knew I didn’t want to have my blood taken, so he gave me a powerful antibiotic instead.

My antibiotics, Floxa or Ofloxacin, look like blood tablets from Vampire Knight, I kid you not. x.x;;;

There’s a lot of pending work here in the office though, and we have visitors, so I can’t really slack off at all! Wish my brain would switch back into high gear, but I only have 2 tablets of Floxa left, so I’m hoping as soon as I finish those, everything will be back to normal again. Because I really need to let my mom stop worrying about me… it’s not good for her to worry so much. :x

Thank God the fever’s finally broken, and hopefully, I will never get that sick ever again! Too much pain not to be able to sleep when your body so tired. x.x;;;

Another Reason Why I Should Buy a Wii

I never thought something like this would ever happen, but it did.

That, my friend, is a new game for the Wii, Tatsunoko vs. Capcom. Capcom’s final fighter has been revealed to be Zero from the Megaman X series, and he looks like he jumped straight out of X4. Not because his appearance is the same but also because his moves are the same as those from X4 too.

Yes, I am one of the most avid Zero fans out there. If this didn’t give that away, then I have no idea what planet you’re from.

Blood of My Blood

She looked outside the window to keep her mind occupied. She didn't want to be treated as a child anymore so she had to control her hunger... and yet, the mere fact that she was in the same room with her made her want to pierce his pale skin and drink his blood.

He noticed her hesitance and sighed. It was natural to be lusting for blood... after all, she hasn't fed in days, and she was newly turned. She had only ever had his blood to drink, and he preferred to keep it that way.

"If you're thirsty," Hiiragi said as he laid back on the couch, "then drink, I'm not stopping you."

Her eyes were dark with desire as she heard him say the words. The sound of his voice coaxed her into her vampire self, breathing heavily as she began showing her fangs.

But still she fought against it. "Hiiragi... sama... has not been feeding as of late. I can not take advantage of-"

She could not finish her sentence as the scent of blood overwhelmed her. It was his blood, she knew it. She knew that scent so well... but why would there be when she hasn't touched him? She glanced up and was horrified to see that he had pierced himself. His slender finger had sliced his skin open near the pulse on his neck. Her heightened senses listened to his heart beat, entrancing her into a myriad of lust and desire.

She panted heavily as she fought her urges, clutching her own neck. She felt tortured... "Hiiragi... sama..."

He merely smirked at her and motioned for her to come to his side. He carefully began to untie the ribbon around his collar. Kuromi towered over him, staring blankly as if she was being controlled by him. Yet how could that be when she was a vampire too? Even if he was her master, there was no way he could manipulate her so easily.

"Why..." she whispered, slightly out of breath, "are you... so cruel... to me..."

She opened her mouth, breathing heavily against him, hesitating... and bit down.

Onegai My Vampire Melody by ~kurohiko on deviantART

He didn't say a word as she fed on him. Her blood lust made her bite more aggressive than usual, and even though he did everything he could to control himself, a small moan still managed to escape his lips, parting slightly, baring his own fangs.

"Take only what is needed..." he cautioned, even though he wouldn't mind spoiling her. It was difficult not to... And the taste of his blood made her want him more and more.

Perhaps it was cannibalism to allow her to feed on him, but they were beasts now... no longer mortal.

**********
Ok, so I fail in writing a proper fanfic to go with the painting I did, but hopefully it was good to read anyway.

Just One Kiss…

I finally got to finish this meme a few days ago. It was quite challenging for me since I’m not very good at drawing kisses… It makes me feel awkward when I try to draw them, probably because the idea of kissing is enough to make me do a double take?

Uta and Hiiragi's Kiss Meme by ~kurohiko on deviantART

Jun took over the task of kissing on the nose since neither Hiiragi nor Uta felt like doing it, haha. xD Sebastian will have a heck of a time cleaning up when the brothers stop fighting, I’m sure. The kiss on the lips really remind me of Honey and Clover… I blame Leilei for that, since she’s watching the J-drama and she gave me that idea. The ferris wheel looks a little weird… I think it could have been better, but eh…

And yeah, the kiss on the ear killed me. x/////x;;;

I don’t think I can draw the second part of this… the sexy version, omg. But I do want to try finishing the meme because I want to learn how to draw kisses properly.

I need a new series to get addicted to. I have way too many fanarts of Onegai My Melody… ;x;

The Earl of Turnabout Café

I've never been one to finish an artwork in one sitting. I like to take my time with things, keep it cool... Make sure things look perfect, and such.

I think something came over me last in the early morning hours of July 2 though... Probably because I don't have work on Pasig Day, yes?

Earl Cain Hargreaves by ~kurohiko on deviantART

I think the mere thought of drawing Cain Hargreaves from Godchild in Kuroshitsuji's Ciel Phantomhive's clothing excited me too much that I felt the need to finish this. It was also a good escuse to draw a human skull, which I had been meaning to try for a while now, but feared my mommy dear might disown me if I did. xD

The more I look at this, the more Cain seems like Ciel. Hrm... They're both Earls too.

It's funny how well the background works with this. I wonder if it's bad to use your own stock photo for backgrounds? I didn't want to submit something with a blank background again... x.x;;;

I really enjoyed coloring this. Burn/Dodge methods are hard to replicate, but stand alone pieces like this make it look so... soft and yummy. x3 And it looks like one of those maid/butler café cards you get to buy when you visit a café. Not sure how true the rumor is, but apparently you get to buy a card of your favorite maid/butler and get them to sign it or something.

Maybe Turnabout Café should do that too... With Konata's help, of course~ ♥

Turnabout Café

Turnabout Cafe by ~kurohiko on deviantART

I think I've finally loosened up a little bit.

I've always been rigid about not altering the original ink work because I use to think it was cheating. However, I did everything I could to make this piece look good on the original and the flipped version. I did a ton of editing on her face and hair to give the finished piece more balance.

Because I'm such a perfectionist though, I want to edit the background again later... And there's the Onegai My Rozen Maiden Melody background to take care of too.

I hadn't noticed how I may have given Uta a new hairdo though. The curls of her pigtails are not like the original... in fact, I think it looks like Sailor Moon's..! Subconscious, maybe?

Onegai My Rozen Maiden Melody

Onegai My Rozen Maiden Melody by ~kurohiko on deviantART

After two weeks, I finally got to finish this... I'm so not going to draw ruffles for a while. Comments are much appreciated, please and thank you!

My wrist is unfortunately killing me thank to a torn ligament. That means not much blogging and drawing for at least a week. If it doesn't get better then I'm in big trouble.

I'm also working on a filler fan-manga "Mote-Mote" for 相信漫畫 since A.illusions is on standstill at the moment. Hopefully, drawing a doujin can get me inspired to draw more.

It's Good to be Alive

There are some days when you get to feel like everything is going your way...

I found that watching one episode of Onegai My Melody before going to bed keeps in a good mood the following day. I'll see how long it lasts since I only have 35 episodes, and I'm already at episode 20. xD

There's also the other option of talking to someone like Mackie-nii. You can click on the image on the right to view it in another tab/window.

Sorry for those who can't understand Japanese, and sorry for those who can understand Japanese since my Japanese is horrible. xDDD

Of course, at the bottom of the said conversation we have some Tagalog and... some invented language here in this country. xD If anyone did understand what it was we were talking about, you'd guess it's pretty shallow, but since I'm in my happy mood, simple things are also quite funny to me. x3

You're also probably wondering why I haven't updated A.illusions yet.

*hides under her desk*

I've actually been working on a fanart for Nyanko-Chan's RE: Play Contest. I picked up a copy of her manga some time ago, and it reminded me a lot of my own project, Twilight's Calling. Cree adnd Twi would probably get along very well if they met. xD

Anyhow, I have only until tonight to finish my entry..! I'll do my best to finish it and then get back to A.illusions again. >.<;;;

...or maybe not?

I'm contemplating with doing a short doujin to take a break from A.illusions. Not that I'm tired of drawing A.illusions, but I've wanted to try and make a doujin since... forever. :D

If I draw a short one consisting of only 20-30 pages, it might not be so bad/long of a break, right?

I haven't fully decided yet, but we'll see. There are 2 pages left before Act 2 changes stages, so it would give me ample time to think about it.

In other news, I'm beginning to become more active in Facebook thanks to a new game. I'll take the time to write about it another time when my interface looks more presentable. :3

Jaz, this is all your fault.

Aaand~ Back to work for me~! <3

Bye-Bye Christmas...

Christmas has come to an end. I'm glad I got to finish my Christmas Card for A.illusions just minutes before it officially ended! Haha~!

In case you're wondering what the Chinese text means, the translation is in my Deviant Art. ;)

My actual Christmas day was a little more complicated. I keep telling myself he's being an angsty teen, but gah~! I still think he's a spoiled brat who needs spanking! Grrr~~~

Maybe it was because I was pretty much spoiled until 4th(?) grade, but... ugh... I don't remember talking back to my parents or my older siblings. @o@;;;

Anyhow, I was glad we went to Burgoo in SM North for dinner. Despite the sour company, the food was great~ I shall keep in mind that Mother loves angel hair pasta... just like myself. :3 Angel Hair Tomato basil with mushrooms and olives is a definite recommend! For as you can see... I lack the pictures to share because we finished it as soon as it hit the table..? xD

We were lucky to get seats by the window, and even luckier to see the fireworks from Trinoma! Too bad no amount of luck could cure a sour grape. ._.;;;

Oh, and that image on the right is Mary Parphacy from Gundam 00, season 2. I got to draw a quick sketch of her while waiting for our food in Burgoo. I didn't get to finish since Mom was excited about the food and stuff. :3 And the crayons were all dull pointed, gah... it was hard to put any details, if at all. ;~;

She looks cute with a Santa Hat though. :3

All in all, I guess my Christmas wasn't too bad. I was kinda surprised that a little mouse on the kitchen counter was all it took to take away my bad mood as well as my Mom's. xDDD We both got surprised when the little critter waltzed right past us without missing a stride. Maybe God didn't want either of us to be a sour grape on His special day.

..and I got to take a picture of my haul~!



I got a pink Haro pillow from my Uncle (the same uncle with the Toy Workshop); Coffee Meringue, lollipop necklace, Maisto Power Racer, and a P500 Toy Kingdom gift card from the office; PLDT my DSL and Sun Cellular cellphone straps from my Aunt, and, most importantly, angpao from Mom~!

My thanks to my "mystery parent" from the office. :3 Now I got an image of my dream car. xD I was glad my "child" seemed to have accepted my gift well. xDDD My *cough* dear *cough* child, it is harsh of me, but you shall never know me! Roflmao~

Kokoro wo Yasumeru Otona no Nurie DS 2

I got myself a layout change for the coming Christmas season... :D I'll be sure to change the header image to something more Christmas-y later tonight... if I find any that is.

And if you want a new blogspot layout, you might want to check out Free Blogger Templates. They got great layouts that need no XML/CSS editing unlike some templates available on the net. Just download, upload, and you're done! And don't forget to backup your widgets! xD

Anyhow, good news to all those aspiring artists who own an NDS out there! I stumbled upon this new game now available in Japan. It's apparently a picture painting game where you can draw better quality paintings than "Colors!".

From the screen shots of sample art pieces made by a group called "The Vippers", you get to choose the medium you prefer (oils, watercolor, or color pencil) and zoom in to add all those extra details.

I would give you the site where I got these images, but since I got them from a friend's plurk, the site is... not safe for work. >.<;;; So I took a few to post here that are safe.

I'd prefer very much to keep my blog kid-friendly, but if you really want the site, leave me a comment or something and I can direct you to the plurk post.

Some of the images you really can't believe that they were drawn on the NDS. I mean, why would anyone want to strain their eyes detailing on such a tiny screen? So says the one who draws using Colors!

Gotta love the cute white tiger! What awesome hair detailing! *o*

And for those of us who can't afford to buy this game and/or can't understand Japanese, there's always the Pic-to-Chat alternative.

..those guys are good. ;.;

..I Phail as a Web Mangaka, I Kid You Not!

So the updates have gone back to PHAIL lately, but I'm telling you, this time, it's not my fault! There was just a lot of stuff that needed to be done in the house before the parents came home a few days ago, so the busy schedule was busy.

I'm planning to set up the gallery section for A.illusions soon. I'd also like to set up the Chinese version of Karma for online reading, but I'll have to ask Renka for that. :)

Similarly, work has been crazier than usual... Why do the right people tend to hide at the times you need them the most? :( But at least we got some progress done. I'm just sad they won't hold off 24/7 operations for the holidays. Oh well...

I made a Kuroshitsuji Fanart over at Colors! (also available in dA) I won't be posting it here since I'm lazy and I'm not too happy with how it turned out, you can view it for yourself by clicking on the links above. :D

I need more time for sketching practice.

I also edited page 71's script thanks to some awesome comments from the A.I. community. The forums are back online by the way, so feel free to visit whenever you can!

And now for some manga quotes that I find to be incredibly insightful:

"You know what? I was really uncertain. I honestly didn't know if it was smart to turn the thing I love into a 'job'. If I made it my work, then I'd have to do it even when I was tired... when I didn't feel like it... Would I still love it then? Would I be able to keep that love alive? I wondered it... I dunno... Maybe I should save what I love best. Keep it like a hobby..." - Keiichi Morisato

"It'll be fine! Maybe loving something isn't always fun... but if it's something you feel for deeply, you'll never hate it. Not ever." - Belldandy

Goodnight all~ ^^

A Smile Riddled with Sorrow...

There are times when my emotions play tricks on me... so much that I become uncertain as to how I'm actually, really feeling.

This week has been so stressful that it's impossible to state them in mere words. They say crying releaves some of the pain, but that's not the case at the moment. I tried it, and it pretty much had little to no effect.

So what do you do when crying doesn't ease the pain?

You smile and pretend it's not happening so fast. Show the world a brave face and take that next step forward until you reach your goal...

...even if it means you have to crawl there.

The dA post and how it was made.

It's also funny how my Saber fanart made it to the 10th 5th spot of the most liked images in colors for the week. I'm flattered. ^^ Thank you...